The First Annual davemackey.com Super Bowl Ad Review

Having worked with advertising for nineteen years and watched various commercials, good and bad, for over 40 years, I feel qualified to give this once-over to last evening's Super Bowl XL advertising efforts.

Burger King "The Whopperettes" - Yes, it's the old Burger King song, and the "Have it your way" tag line is back in force. Unfortunately, the creepy plastic-faced Burger King is in this ad, and the "Whopperettes" are this Busby Berkeley-esque dance squad all dressed as various burger toppings and condiments who literally (and painfully) fall into place on a giant Whopper. It's a girl on girl on girl sandwich, eventually. The narrator at either end of the commercial is immediately identifiable as Alan Kalter, the announcer on David Letterman's show. But what ultimately troubles me about this ad is the plastic-faced King character, and the fear that if "Have It Your Way" is back, can HERB be far behind?

Update: I've been told that the girl representing the top of the bun, whose face the camera lingers on for several minutes, is the lovely Brooke Burke, who was last seen as host of "Rock Star: INXS" last summer. Hopefully I'm not getting her mixed up with Brooke Burns, who hosted the USA version of "Dog Eat Dog".

Pepsi/Sierra Mist - Jay Mohr, who just announced his engagement to Nikki Cox over the weekend (why do guys like him get all the babes?), is the agent, which is reminiscent of that TV show "Action" he did a few years ago. Sean Puffy P Daddy Diddy Combs (or whatever he's calling himself this week) is reluctant to record with the Diet Pepsi can, but he does, and the usual forced hilarity ensues (such as in the spots last year where Diddy traded in his wheels for a Pepsi truck). Pepsi mounted a similar spot with Jackie Chan where the "stunt double" for the Diet Pepsi can is a Diet Coke can, which immediately gets crushed. (Coke is making so much out of its association with "American Idol", so they feel no need to associate themselves with the S.B.)

Much funnier was the spot for Pepsi subsidiary Sierra Mist, where the ubiquitous Michael Ian Black plays an air traveler stopped by security guard Kathy Griffin, who makes fake beeping noises while wanding Black so she can get his Sierra Mist. Griffin is just so naturally funny, the spot works. This one deserved its first quarter placement.

Degree "Stunt City" - All ads which feature "DO NOT ATTEMPT" disclaimers are immediately disqualified from further discussion. Likely we'll see this during the 2006 World Series of Poker, which Degree was all over like stink on Mike Matusow last year.

Nationwide "Gondola" - Taking a page out of Geico's book, it's a fake ad for shampoo featuring what-the-heck-does-he-do-anyway? guy Fabio. But we see the reality that Fabio is actually old and wrinkled, driving home the sponsor's message "life comes at you fast". So do birds, right Fabio?

Toyota "Camry Hybrid" - I'm sympathetic here, because I just bought a Camry convertible. It's a little boy asking his dad why the 2007 Camry Hybrid is such a great car. Simple and effective. Too bad you have to wait for the '07 Camry.

In the race for SUV superiority, Cadillac "Escalade" is as ostentatious as Toyota is practical, and we don't understand what supermodels have to do with marketing an obnoxious truck that gets about 4 MPG and will probably someday run over the kid whose dad drives the Camry. Ditto Hummer "Monsters" with its two Japanese horror-movie monsters who fall in love. Ford "Escape Hybrid" splits the difference with its ad for its SUV hybrid with Kermit The Frog (where's the puppeteer?).

Honda "Ridgeline Mudflap" - That naked lady you see on the mudflaps of trucks hops into the new Ridgeline and sees that other mudflap icon, Yosemite "BACK OFF!" Sam, behind the wheel. (Don't worry, Warner Bros. sanctioned it.)

Pizza Hut "Jessica Simpson" - That's HUT with an "H", Mrs. Lachey. And get out of here with your bastardized Nancy Sinatra song. You too, Latifaht.

Emerald Nuts - This company, which made its first big marketing splash with the Bowl a few years ago, gives us a contrived spot that spells out its name with some sentence about eagle-eyed druids under the stairs. Geez, like that sentence we remember the planets with...

Bud Light "On The Roof" - DQ'd, "Do Not Attempt" sitting in a lawn chair on your roof. I won't even GO on my roof, much less put a lawn chair up there. None of the other Bud Light spots were noteworthy. In fact, none of the beer spots were any good this year. Even Budweiser's Clydesdale spots had a "been there, done that" quality.

Warner Bros. "Poseidon" - Since when is May 12 SUMMER? By the time the real summer starts, your movie will probably have made its $20 million and moved on.

PS "Best Defense" - A genre of spot which seems to have begun with Supes ads is the WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING spot. It shows people doing everyday things like swimming, taking out the garbage, and even giving a good night kiss. But they're all wearing biohazard suits! WHY? Of course, this is because people would be better protected by cleaning with the sponsor's products. Duh.